"It is Hard to Know What to Eat"

I find it is hard to know what to eat. As a baby and then growing up my parents gave me baby food and then more solid food as I grew older. Then while attending elementary school my Mom would pack a lunch for my lunch box or give me money to eat the cafeteria food. I didn't have to decide much on what to eat; other older people would make the decisions for me.

Now I am older and I don't have anyone to tell me what to eat. I don't know what is good food for me and what is not so good. Some days I make lard and bacon sandwiches that I dip in butter. You should try one they are really tasty. Other meals I make are fried twinkies dipped in hot chocolate and smothered in peanut butter and ice cream with a glass of whole milk on the side. I also like fried pepperoni and cheese sandwiches which I also dip in butter. I just love butter and sometimes I make my own butter milk by melting a stick or two of butter and then combining this with whole milk and drink this delicious combination quickly before the butter hardens too much.

Yes, in school I never took a nutrition course so I don't know if some the menu selections I mentioned are good for me or not. I was so pleased to hear today that Michelle Obama is starting a new campaign to get people to eat sensible food that is good for you. I need someone to tell me what to eat and how much to eat. I don't know if vegetables are good for you or if they are the primary cause of cancer and heart conditions. Thank God Michelle Obama will be able to give me some culinary advice. I don't even know for sure how many meals a day a person should eat and when I buy "cheese doodles" to eat when watching the TV; should I be eating three full bags of them each night or should I be eating more than that to make sure I get enough calcium?

Bless you Michelle, someone has to help us folks know what to eat and your wise counsel will be most appreciated. Now, after your food advise do you think you could help us with how much sleep we should be getting each night? Also, how many baths or showers should we be taking each month? We need you Michelle to help us with these everyday challenges because I for one can't seem to figure these things out for myself.