Boozy ape sent to rehab. Ai Ai

Boozy ape sent to rehab (click the Boozy Ape sent to rehab link for this news story)Hey you chain smoking chimps out there don't you know that smoking cigarettes is bad for you? Cigarettes might stunt your growth. I know it is tempting after a mentally stressed day to want to wind down and smoke a cigarette but do you really want to take a chance that you could develop throat cancer and have to scream through a tracheotomy hole in your throat or have to have a "scream box" transplant"? I know some of you party animals think it is cool to "smoke a fag" or a "coffin nail" when you are out on the town at one of the discos but think of your poor chimp children who won't have you to look up to if you die early. And the beer drinking, try to restrict your daily intake to no more than two brewskies a day. You don't want to lose your licence to drive or misjudge tree branches while you swing around from tree to tree.

That being said good luck on your rehab Ai Ai. Take it a day at a time and try to follow the twelve step program. This is serious and certainly no time for monkeyshines even though your antics got you into the news. This price of fame is too high a cost. Don't you want to live long enough to see you kids swing down the aisle on their wedding day?

"Whoa!, These Tales of Woe"

These recent "sob" stories by the Democrats during the alleged "Health Care Summit" that took place last Thursday make me want to cry..... (NOT). Each Democrat participant seemed to try to outdo the other on who can come up with the best example of tragedy on a personal level of someone in America who has the best case of a "tale of woe". Now, not many people really want to see suffering in this world, but is the government really supposed to fix every human ailment and "kiss every "boo boo"? I say "Whoa!" to these tales of woe. The "Buddha" says that the human condition is filled with "Samsara" (suffering), as everybody and every body degenerates at some time through the ageing process or through abuse of your body in some fashion or another or through some sort of accident that happens to you throughout your lifespan.

To try to convince the American public to support the government total control of health care these examples are given to show the need for a takeover of the medical system. Some of the examples I bet are made up but even if they are true; why does this mean that a state controlled health care system is the answer? The most memorable example to me of this process of sob story summitry is the example given by Congresswoman Louise Slaughter of someone who had to wear her dead sister's teeth. As Rush Limbaugh pointed out on his radio show that afternoon when he thought that Democrats were into recycling and what is wrong with recycling teeth? You don't want the landfills in America overfilled with mountains of perfectly good dentures do you? Hey, this supposed lady had no teeth before and now at least she has some teeth. Do we need Congress flapping their gums about these examples of toothless constituents? If Harry Truman were alive he would probably say,"If you can't stand the teeth, then get them out of your mouth." Not to be heartless to the toothless, but there are plenty of foods that you can eat without teeth. For example, apple sauce, all the baby foods, and milk shakes to name a few foods as well as swallowing vitamins and health supplements.

Where in the US Constitution does it say that everyone has a right to a custom fit pair of dentures? I believe George Washington had a set of wooden teeth. You didn't see George, as one of the founding fathers of our nation lobby for free government teeth did you? Just because someone has a need does not necessarily mean that the government is responsible to fill that need.

These tales of woe have got to go. Ya Know?

I'm Sick (of the government trying to take over healthcare)

I watched a couple minutes of President Obama's Health care Windbag Propaganda Fest but quickly had to turn it off before I threw up or fell asleep. President Obama's intent supposedly was to try to reach some sort of "bipartisan consensus" on the health care reform issue but in today's political environment consensus only occurs when the other side agrees with you while you stand firm in your position. If the party on the other side of the issue refuses to bend to your position; well then you say, "I tried to get a bi-partisan solution, but they just said no and wouldn't agree with us."

To me, the central question is "Does the American public really want to cede control of their life and health to the government ?; or would you rather rely on the professional advise of your doctor? Sure, there is waste and excess cost in the current health care system but is it worth dismantling the American Health care system?

How many Americans currently travel to England or Canada with their health problems or surgical needs? If the state run systems in other countries are so great how come you don't hear much about people traveling to other countries for medical care while it is fairly commonplace for sick people from other countries to travel to America for their treatment?

I don't know about you but this talk of taking over the American health care system is making me sick. And luckily at least for now, I can go to my primary care physician for professional treatment without getting a permission slip from some governmental bureaucrat.

"Pop Tarts and Tang"

I remember one Summer day in the 1980's Ellen, who worked at the Captain's Clambake Emporium restaurant on Cape Cod, decided to have an afternoon cookout party. Every party needs certain ingredients to make it a success. I wanted to make sure that someone would be providing "Pop Tarts and Tang" for the cookout so I volunteered to bring these essential party items.

"Tang" has a tangy "orangy tangeriney" taste and was made popular by the NASA space program during the Gemini space missions. The astronauts used to drink the Tang as it made their space water taste better.

"Pop Tarts" , the flat rectangular toastable pasties, can be eaten either toasted or straight from the box making these tasty treats the perfect picnic food.

Together the tangy taste of Tang and the tart fruit filled pop tarts with frosting make the perfect picnic combination. But you probably already knew this. I read in "Wikopedia" that in 2001 the US military dropped 2.4 million Pop Tarts in Afghanistan. I wonder if the US military remembered to drop some Tang as well or maybe they dropped the Tang from an orbiting space mission?

Pop tarts and Tang are truly a combination that is out of this world.

"Youth In Asia"

I saw today that Quebec doctors support "Youth in Asia".It is funny though that apparently the French word for youth in Asia is "euthanasia" all as one word. Now, I don't know if these French Canadian doctors support the young people traveling to Asia or the youth that live in Asia. Furthermore do the doctors support every youth in Asia? Asia is a big place. Do these doctors want to try to pay all of the living expenses of these Asian youths? Or, do the doctors support the young ideals of the Asian youths as many of the Asian countries are opening up to the ideas of market capitalism?

I wonder why the Quebec doctors only support the youth in Asia (euthanasia) and not the youth in Europe (euthaneurope) or the youth in America (euthanamerica)? Maybe the youth in Asia are better behaved and better students. I don't know, this euthanasia question is just killing me and I'm dying to find out the answer to this riddle of Quebec doctor support.

"Holy Cow (Patti)

YouTube - Jim Stafford Sings Cow Patti Branson, MO Remember Jim Stafford? From what I understand he is still performing in Branson, Missouri. Here is a video from the Smothers Brothers Show (click the You Tube Link) of Jim singing the classic "Cow Patti" song. Jim is also the author of "My Girl Bill", "I Ain't Sharin' Sharon", "Spiders and Snakes", and sings"Wildwood Flower" among other memorable melodies. I saw Jim Stafford while I was at the University of Connecticut as a senior back in 1976 as I was attending a National Entertainment Convention in Washington D.C. I enjoy Jim Stafford's "word play" with puns and double entendres as I was and am somewhat of a "punster" myself from high school daze to the present, or so I've been told. The Smothers Brothers was one of my favorite shows at the time and they were somewhat "radical" as they weren't a fan of the Vietnam war. Yippi Yi Yooooooo, Cow Patti.

"IF YOU SAY SO"

It was interesting to see that Vice President Biden (aka clown czar) was pleased to see the progress that is happening in Iraq as far as democracy and self-rule of the Iraqi people and reduction of terrorism are concerned and his remark that this progress is one of the best accomplishments of the Obama administration. This is the same person as a senator who fought the Bush administration in every way possible in regards to the Iraq situation and declared this exercise not winnable and advocated partitioning Iraq into three regions. The Obama administration inherited the efforts of the Bush administration and is now trying to take credit even though both Biden and Obama were against the "surge" efforts that proved to be successful. Sounds a little hypocritical to me; but maybe that is a prerequisite to being a modern day politician. I guess it is "OK" to "Blame Bush" and his staggering unemployment rate of up to 5.4% for years on end and then take credit for the improved Iraqi situation which they had not only nothing to with but also tried to stop. "If you say so Joe"; but I for one don't agree with taking credit for things you had nothing to do with and blaming someone else for the current economy when your actions have not only done nothing to improve the economy but have worsened the prospects for employment growth through massive deficit spending and threats to tax any business that has the audacity to try to make a profit.

"Where You At Car 54?

Car 54, Where are You? Pretzel Mary How many of you remember the TV Show "Car 54 Where Are You?"? Here's a link to one of my favorite episodes "Pretzel Mary" from one of my favorite and I thought funniest television series of all time. Do you recognize "Herman" and "Grandpa" from the "Munsters"? Yes, before they were a part of that scary funny "Munsters" TV show they were both policeman down at the 53rd precinct. I can remember singing the theme song to this show back when I was about 8 years old. Yo, Car 54 wussup? "Where you at dawg?"

"WHAT A CONCEPT!"

YouTube - Reel 2 Real - I Like To Move It HQ [1994] I see that Michelle Obama has started to increase her message in her "war on fatties" from not only eating sensible foods and not "junk" food for every meal to another profound idea. Basically, Michelle thinks people should exercise and "move it!" and get up off the couch instead of playing video games and watching the TV. "What a concept!" I never could have thought of something like that. We are blessed to have such an insightful first lady. Oh wait, I did think of these ideas and quite a while ago at that. I posted a blog article about a diet plan and a potential book idea called "Exercise More and Don't Eat So Much" as a prescription for weight loss. Now, I am fairly certain that Michelle and Barry Obama do read my blog although I'm not 100% sure. I think Michelle may be taking my ideas and calling them her own. I wish she would at least give me the credit I deserve because I'm sure no one before me could have ever thought of my brilliant idea of exercising more and eating less as the solution to the nation's obesity problem. Oh well, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so I guess I should be flattered that the first lady is taking up the cause that I initiated. Michelle has the power and prestige of the First Ladie's office to get the message out that probably exceeds the press coverage that I receive.

Although, maybe Michelle was inspired by the video by "Reel 2 Real" and the song "I Like to Move It" (click the You Tube Link). Whatever the case. Kudos to Michelle and her message for mobility. Your husband's first and only term is already about 25% complete so I can see how you have to act fast and promote the causes you believe in as time is so short. Soon it will be time to "Move On, Move On".

"PEOPLE PAY TAXES"

I am watching with interest to see if President Obama's idea of increasing taxes on banks becomes a reality. It is too bad that presidents and elected officials are not required to be at least a little proficient in basic economic principles because the current group of politicians don't seem to have much of a clue. For example, if you want to reduce overall employment and real economic production of goods and services; just increase taxes. A tax on banks will just increase the costs of getting a loan from the banks as they will pass along any increased costs. Every business has a partner; Uncle Sam, who gets a slice of any business profits. Why would Uncle Sam want to increase taxes on banks when this will reduce lending and thus investment by businesses in investing in both capital goods and hiring more people?

It may be popular to try to play the "politics of envy" by "taxing the rich" or just wanting to "spread the money around" as the socialistic liberals of the day seem to want to do. The reality is that "people pay taxes" not corporations because any corporate tax is factored into the cost of the goods and services produced. I would rather there be less regulation and governmental influence in the economy as this would create a more productive environment for economic activity.

With a government out of control as we currently have today where the current president proposes a budget that has a deficit of 1.6 TRILLION DOLLARS in one year and then has the audacity to proclaim that he is for fiscal responsibility and prudent governmental spending only in some sort of "bizarro world" can this be believable.

The current president is now supposedly focused on creating jobs as his health care efforts are hopefully put to rest. President Obama has a "jobs summit" but potential job creators were not invited. Here's a thought, why don't we get the president and the Democratic congress to sign the trade agreements with Columbia, South Korea, and other nations? We live in an international competitive economic world and other nations are signing trade agreements and taking away markets from American businesses. I remember when the unemployment rate under President Bush soared to 5.3% and speaker Nancy Pelosi was bemoaning about how this was a sign of a deep recession; now we have an unemployment rate hovering around 10% with an underemployment rate of approximately 17% with plenty of unemployed people becoming discouraged and giving up their quest for a job. The federal budget deficit is way higher now than under the President Bush years.

Yes, in the end, "people pay the taxes" not banks or corporations.

"YOU ARE A PIG"

I just read on the Drudge Report, that scientists are experimenting with pigs and are trying to replace some of the pig DNA with human DNA so that within five years time they expect to be able to transplant pig lungs into humans. That would be something. I wonder what scientists will think of next. If I remember correctly there is a book called "The Island of Dr. Moreau" where this "mad scientist" experimented with humans and developed creatures that were part human and part animal.

If these "pig lung" transplants become successful then I'm sure that there will be other types of similar developments. What animal organs or traits would you like these scientists to experiment with next? It might be fun to run like a cheetah that can run up to about seventy miles an hour or so. Just think if you had some cheetah leg transplants you could keep up with cars on the freeway. It would be nice to see as well as an eagle with some eagle eye transplants.

I wonder if people of the Islamic faith would consent to have pig lung transplants as their religion forbids eating pigs but maybe there is no prohibition on becoming part human and part pig.

Food for thought I guess and "pigs for lungs". I guess people with "pig lung transplants" if they say something gross to someone and that person replies;"You are a pig" that person could reply, "How did you know?" or "Well, I'm only part pig".

I wonder if people with "pig lungs" would start to "oink, oink" when they laugh and start to become more attracted to "mud wrestling"?