Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"Abe" Lincoln Vampire Hunter

'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter': A New Era of Tall Tales | I see there is a new movie coming out about Abraham Lincoln and his until now unreleased history as a vampire hunter. "Abe" was an historic man and I'll bet you a penny or five dollars that you as well as I didn't know that before he became president he used to hunt down vampires and kill them with an ax. I see according to this article that FDR used to hunt werewolves before he became president. Maybe we will learn that FDR didn't have polio but used this as an alibi to cover up the real truth that he was bitten in the legs by a pack of blood thirsty werewolves one moonlit night. I think I recall from somewhere that George Washington was the original "ghost buster" as he used to battle poltergeists in his youth and that is why he chopped down a cherry tree as this tree was haunted by demon spirits. From what I recall, Ulysses S. Grant while he was alive before he was buried in Grant's tomb had a fiddling contest against the Devil when he was down in Georgia as he bet his soul against a fiddle of gold; AND HE WON!

I am comforted that at least in the past many of our presidents were not only among the "best and the brightest" but also able to protect the American people against "the creatures of the night". Maybe these past presidents were too modest as these feats of daring heroism have not been widely publicised. Nowadays we have a president that is the best at reading from a teleprompter as he travels among the 57 states of our country.